How
to Avoid Stress on School Mornings
The real key to avoiding stress on school mornings is to have a well-established morning routine. A routine provides structure and helps children have a sense of how mornings should proceed. This helps to avoid parent-child hassles, and limits the amount of "prodding" a parent has to do. Routines should be suited to each child's age and capabilities [see Getting Kids Off to School], and will be most successful if supported by careful planning on the part of the parent(s).
Planning items that parents need to consider:
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School clothes
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Clothes need to be ready to wear: clean, mended, pressed. This should be done the night before. Older children can do this for themselves, but parents will need to supervise. Younger children can assemble clothes to one area at bedtime, the night before. |
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Breakfast preparations
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Possible approaches: 1. a set menu where the parent prepares the selection. For example, cereal with milk, or muffins with a glass of milk; or scrambled eggs. 2. a "buffet" where the parent puts out acceptable items such as cereal, string cheese, yogurt, and fruit, and children serve themselves. |
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Defining what it means to "be ready" |
Parents will benefit by defining what it means to "be ready." For example, it could mean to have on clothes and shoes, backpack by the door, and be eating breakfast--before reading a book or watching TV (such activities can be motivators). |
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Defining the house rules around getting up
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Some kids are really difficult to get up in the morning. It is important that they are getting enough sleep. If you're sure they are, then you may just be dealing with 'sleepy heads.' Setting limits about the need to get up and around will help get kids to cooperate. You may need to apply consequences to get cooperation...for example, when Sammy has trouble getting up in the morning, adjust bedtime that evening. Reward cooperation. Consider allowing Sammy to read a book, watch TV, or listen to a story tape once he is fully ready, and eating. |
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Get yourself ready on time
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You need to do whatever is necessary to get yourself ready on time. This means getting your own clothes ready, packing lunches if need be, making sure the car is gassed, assembling the kids homework, or whatever. Careful planning the night before can make a world of difference in how your morning flows. If you have a mental (or written) checklist, you won't forget important items. Don't give in to the temptation to put things off, even small things. In the morning, you'll need every minute. So grit your teeth if you must, and spend the extra half hour to get things ready, even when you're really tired. You will appreciate the pay off when your mornings go smoothly. You may find the benefit in extra energy due to decreased levels of stress. When mornings go well, it can improve your whole day! |
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Getting out the door
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Try setting a timer so everyone has a 5-minute warning. Make sure you are ready when the timer goes off, so that you can grab your keys and assemble the kids. If you've defined what "be ready" means, the kids will be dressed and ready to go. If you need to click off the TV or tape player to motivate them to leave, do so (doing it yourself is more effective than yelling, especially while you're all getting used to the routine). |
The above items are suggestions--each family will have its own routine, based on its needs and the situation. The parent's pre-planning is probably the most important aspect of developing a successful routine--if you know what you're doing, and what you want, you'll have less resistance from the children.
This article was written by
Dee Marx-Kelly, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Dee welcomes your
questions and comments. Her number in San Jose is (408) 246-3525, or
e-mail her at dmk@surfnetusa.com.
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